I am not, I will not be

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What is that thing I refer to when I say "I"? I can't pin it down despite how much I try to. The thing I thought is there deep down as the basis of my experience, is not.

Is it the other way around? This "I" is up there, at the highest level of our abstractive capacity as humans. It's the greatest abstraction, the focal point of all other abstractions. The "I" is a virtualization of a multitude of phenomenological experiences. Is it something we curate from our fixations and attachments? A staging area for the thoughts, feelings and emotions that we think of as "me" or "mine".

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